% rotten-day.tex
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% 17 Ways to tell it's going to be a Rotten Day
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% Source: 
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% Typeset by Volker Kuhlmann, 06, 17 Oct 1996; 12 Feb 1997.
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\begin{document}

{
\centering

\huge				17 Ways

\large				to tell it's going to be a

\fontsize{43pt}{43pt}\selectfont
				Rotten Day

}

\vspace{7mm}

\large
\begin{list}{\theenumi.}{%
	\leftmargin 10mm\labelwidth 7mm\labelsep 3mm\rightmargin 0mm
	\usecounter{enumi}\def\makelabel#1{\hss\llap{#1}}}
\item	You wake face down on the footpath.
\item	You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
\item	You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
\item	You see a ``60 Minutes'' team waiting in your office.
\item	Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
\item	You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party,
	and there aren't any.
\item	You put on the news and they are showing emergency routes out
	of the city.
\item	Your twin sister forgot your birthday.
\item	Your car horn goes off accidently and remains stuck as you follow
	a group of ``Hell's Angels'' along the motorway.
\item	The boss tells you not to bother taking your coat off.
\item	The bird sitting outside your window is a vulture.
\item	You walk to work and then find your dress is stuck in the back
	of your pantyhouse (that's even more embarrassing for women).
\item	You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of
	your business.
\item	Your blind date turns out to be your husband/wife.
\item	Your income tax cheque bounces.
\item	You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
\item	Your wife says ``Good morning Bill'' and your name is David.
\end{list}

\end{document}