% engineer-if.tex
%
% Source:
%	email from someone
%
% Typeset by Volker Kuhlmann, 09 April 1998.
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\documentclass[12pt,twoside]{article}


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\begin{document}

{
\Large
	YOU MIGHT BE AN ENGINEER\ldots 
}

%\begin{itemize}
\begin{list}{\labelitemi}{%
	\itemsep 0.2ex plus0.1ex
	\def\makelabel#1{\hss\llap{#1}}%
	}
\item
	if you have no life---and you can \emph{prove} it mathematically.
\item
     	if you enjoy pain.
\item
	if you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do
	long division.
\item
	if you chuckle whenever anyone says ``centrifugal force''.
\item
     	if you've actually used every single function on your graphing
	calculator.
\item
	if when you look in a mirror, you see an engineering major.
\item
     	if it is sunny and 30\celsius\ outside, and you are working on a
	computer.
\item
     	if you frequently whistle the theme song to ``MacGyver''.
\item
     	if you always do homework on Friday nights.
\item
	if you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the
	derivative of water.
\item
     	if you think in ``math''.
\item
     	if you've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
\item
	if you hesitate to look at something because you don't want to
	break down its wave function.
\item
     	if you have a pet named after a scientist.
\item
     	if you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
\item
	if the Humane society has you arrested because you actually
	performed the Schroe\-dinger's Cat experiment.
\item
     	if you can translate English into Binary.
\item
	if you can't remember what's behind the door in the science
	building which says ``Exit''.
\item
     	if you have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer,
	because there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.
\item
     	If you are completely addicted to caffeine.
\item
	if you avoid doing anything because you don't want to
	contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.
\item
     	if you consider \emph{any} non-science course ``easy''.
\item
	if when your professor asks you where your homework is, you
	claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so
	precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in
	the universe.
\item
	if the ``fun'' center of your brain has deteriorated from lack
	of use.
\item
	if you'll assume that a ``horse'' is a ``sphere'' in order to
	make the math easier.
\item
	if you understood more than five of these indicators.
\item
	if you make a hard copy of this list, and post it on your door.
\item
	if you think it might be a neat idea to send this message to
	all of your friends in the form of e-mail.
\end{list}
%\end{itemize}

\end{document}

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